"You're kind of pathetic."

Sometimes you get to a point in your life where you have to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You're kind of pathetic." I got to that point this weekend.

Amidst the beauty of engagements and wedding dress shopping, I have been walking around with a huge smile plastered on my face. Am I happy for them? Absolutely! Am I insanely jealous? Heck yes. I'm 23 years old and I just got out of a three month relationship where we talked about being married and having children. I was THAT certain that he was it. I didn't even second guess opening my heart to him in that way. Is it silly to talk like that after only three months? Yes. I definitely learned my lesson there.

Since then I have met some pretty great guys. Friends have set me up, I've received random Facebook messages from old middle school/high school buddies (hi, by the way! :)), and there's always the fun coffee shop guys to have a casual conversation with. At the end of the day, though, I'm still single and lonely.

One day I'm okay, and the next day I am not. One day I'm calling my ex and crying into his voicemail, the next day I'm not returning his or anyone else's calls because I'm SO over it. But today, I think I've hit my limit. Today, I've finally realized how pathetic I'm acting--and I am NOT a pathetic person.

I am the opposite of pathetic, in fact.

I am strong. I'm a daughter of God with a hard head and a tender heart. He treasures me and has made me sensitive and beautiful because that's how He intended it. While I may make choices that He does not approve of, nothing can separate me from His love.

Shouldn't that be enough? Well, it's enough to keep me getting out of bed every morning. It's enough to keep me smiling even when I feel completely empty.

It's not guaranteed that you'll have someone to call yours and spend every night with a wonderful significant other who "completes" you. And you know what? You may find that person and then they may die. Not to be harsh, but that happens! What then? You can give and give until you don't even know who YOU are anymore and then none of it is returned. Do you curl up in a ball and hide away forever? No. You dust yourself off and move on. You look at yourself in the mirror and say, "You're kind of pathetic."

And then instead of accepting that you're just a pathetic person, you say, "Stop."